Texas Governor Killjoy has just outlawed any device that’s been designed for “the sole purpose of stimulating the human genital organs.” Because—according to the Governor and his puritanical wife, Prudence—dildos are the devil’s tools.
As a result, the governor’s Texas Ranger henchman, Wolf Johnson, begins shutting down sex toy shops all around The Lone Star State. In a raid gone awry, Johnson blows up Virginia Gina’s Sex Toy Palace and creates a reluctant nemesis of her fugitive granddaughter, Annie, who flees the scene in a red sedan full of contraband sex toys.
Convinced her Granny died in the explosion and knowing the law is hot on her tail, Annie doesn’t know where to go or what to do. Lucky for her—the now disembodied spirit of her Granny’s happy, hippy girlfriend, Rainbow, possesses a Fleshlight (a flashlight-shaped fake vagina sex toy) and becomes Annie’s spiritual advisor.
Through the guidance of the talking Rainbow Fleshlight, Annie swallows her destiny and dons a disguise, transforming herself into the sex-toy-running renegade, The Moan Ranger.
The Sex Toy Savior’s first mission is to complete three scheduled deliveries for her Granny across 500 miles of Texas in the next 24 hours—and all with Wolf Johnson hot on her tail.
While on the road delivering genital justice, Annie saves the governor’s virginal daughter, Ashley, from her jealous jock boyfriend, Brad. But the rescue soon turns into a kidnapping when Annie discovers that Granny is alive and well in the state penitentiary—and Ashley is the perfect person to trade for her release.
This fateful decision leads Annie, Ashley, and Rainbow Fleshlight to further musical adventures, including a Busby Berkley-style self-exploration dance number with a saucy sex toy scientist, an inspiring country western sing-a-long with a saintly drag nun, and a high desert love duet between Ashley and Annie, where they finally free their guarded hearts and discover the power of pleasure in each other’s arms.
In a climactic 11th hour jail-break, and with true love now on their side, Annie and Ashley help the Governor and his uptight wife “come around” to their way of thinking—vowing to turn the Lone Star State into the Moan Hard State as they drive off (happily, of course) into the sunset.